Heather saw Pet Sematary and Candyman on the same night at the age of 5 and has spent the last subsequent quarter of a century chasing the proverbial Horror Horse. Always a fiend for the weird, Heather's been in many an awkward situation and has so far lived to tell the tales.

She and Justin have a VHS collection that could make a hardcore hoarder blush and a closet full of porno reels that would make just about anyone blush. Heather thinks that one day she'll be a stand-up comic, so it'd be great if you humored her and laughed at her jokes. If Justin has to, you do too.