Roger



Even as a child Roger felt the hunger for the lurid films. He would watch children's movies reimagining them to his liking. He would pretend that E.T. was really just a nude, pervy old man pretending to be an alien to infiltrate his way into a house of unsupervised children, that Marty McFly actually banged his mother in Back to the Future to return to the future to find himself inbred, and that Sarah in Labyrinth had decided to not give a shit about her baby brother and hook up with the Goblin King and his hot bulge.

He was lucky enough to have a father who saw Roger's love of questionable cinema for the gift it truly is. Roger's father started buying him tickets and sneaking him into R rated movies at an early age, sending him down a path of no return.